The Finale
Part 1: The End of the Universe
Goom Town was eerily quiet. The only sound was that of the waves gently lapping against the harbor, and the light pulsing tones of the Vortex that would lead the army of Goom Town to its victory, or quite possibly its grave.. In the distance, a rhythmic thumping could be heard, disrupting the silence. A large army of Goombas was the first to reach the empty town. They waited at the town center waiting. . . waiting. . . until a voice rose up.
“Father?”
The Goomfather turned his head to his son, Sharptooth. He looked him over, and wondered if the end of all things was deserved for what the inhabitants had become. His own son, the once proud Sharptooth, had... done some bad stuff.
“Father?” Sharptooth’s voice called out again.
“Yes?”
“If I may ask, what are we doing, staying here? Shouldn’t we be going through the portal before it’s too late?”
“Wait a few more hours, my son.”
Tubba Blubbachine had heard this before. He had done this before. He knew what was going to happen. But he kept quiet.
As the sun began to set, Goomfather told his son it was time. Sharptooth gave the order to enter.
"Hm..." thought Tubba. "I wonder where the other armies are? Perhaps each has its own portal." The Clubba was correct. Each army was receiving its own portal to prevent some taking a head start.
A large portal loomed withina complex maze, odd space creatures floated near it, waiting for the order. A solitary toad stood there, reflecting on all that had happened.
One plumber was using his vast hoard of money for target practice. His life had leaned so far in the direction of darkness, evil. He had even tried to kidnap his own brother, for money. Yet, somehow, he also had the knowledge that he had helped Makajawan save the universe. Who was he? Good, or evil? Right, or wrong? Light, or darkness? He knew not as he entered the portal, all who were with him following suit.
Princess Peach nervously milled about her castle. The end was near. Her kingdom had been torn apart by war. Hundreds of thousands dead. Her most trusted advisor killed by an old foe. Her love, Mario, possessed by an evil witch. Her friend, Luigi, crossed over to the dark side. The kingdom next door under control of bandits, their prince hypnotized into joining their ranks. It was up to her to right the wrongs. She lead her troops through the portal, intent on her goals.
"O Great Cackletta! The battle which is being of the final nature is beginning in the soonest time!" shouted Fawful.
"Yes, Fawful," Cackletta replied. "Is everyone ready?"
"Yeah, see? My Rookie and I got it handled, see?"
"RRRGH! RRRRRRRRRGH! GWOOO HOOO HOOG HAAAGH! RAAAAAAMAAABLAAAA!"
"Most certainly, Great Cackletta."
"..."
Cackletta was annoyed. "PATSY!"
""Present," Patsy mumbled.
"Well then, let's go! EEYAH HA HA HA HA!"
"I HAVE FURY!"
"I'll be taking that, see?"
"Hahaha!"
"RAAAAAAMAAABLAAAA!"
"Woo."
King Sammer and the Sammer Guys were crowded around the portal.
"The end of the world is coming."
"At least we found Jade Blooper."
With those few words of wisdom, the Sammer Guys marched through the portal.
"Did we remember the Groundruler?"
"iunno."
A single Gizmo walked through a portal, eager to see what happened.
"Dude! Uh, sir! Sir dude, sir! The portal is ready."
"Yes, let us enter," Sir Grodus said, as the X-Star moved through the portal.
Lord Crump was walking down the hall with Lady Xeya. Barron Xannon bit his thumb.
"Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?" Crump inquired.
"I do bite my thumb, sir," Xannon returned.
Crump repeated the question. "Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?"
Xannon turned to an X-Naut PhD. "Is the law of our side if I say 'Ay'?"
"No." was the reply.
"No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir." Xannon explained. With that, the four went to their separate posts.
General Brint commanded his fuzzies through the portal.
"If yeh be men, then yeh be an army o' men!"
"Uh, sir, we're all fuzzies."
"Ay. If yeh be fuzzies, then yeh be an army o' fuzzies!"
King Kaliente loaded his troops onto his giant transport to ferry entire army to final battle. "Well, whatever it's called, I have a feeling the Great Beings are going to make it really awesome. It'll be awesomely written, with awesome stuff happening , and it will just be completely awesome. So awesome, in fact, that the writer will be the most awesomest person in the history of the universe- but even more awesome." Pausing, King Kaliente then said, "Wait, what am I saying? Whatever..." With that, the Stardust Squadron headed out through the portal.
"'Ey! What is goin' on 'ere?" O'Chunks said as Count Bleckian lead the army through the portal.
"BLEH HEH HEH! BLECKIAN! The now hero of this army is...Count Bleckian! The justification for this is... non-existent! If kaka (wait, who?) is upset, then he will be told to deal... by Makajawan! (wait, who?)"
"CHUNKS AWAY!" O'Chunks yelled as he rushed through the portal in his own, unique, style.
"Graagghhh!" Petey Piranha lead his troops through the portal to the final battle. 'This time, I'm going, no matter what anyone says,' he thought, but it just came out as "GGRRGAAAAAARRR!!!" 'Ugh, why must I be so speech impaired...'
"ve are ready!" shouted dr. einstork to duck.
"what, already? you kidding me??? this is insane! I haven't made plans!" duck shouted.
"uh... ve're going," the apparent PhD. replied. "the iron phoenix eez done, as vell as all our projects."
"alright. I'll see if I can draw something up before we actually start fighting."
"GWAHAHA! We may not be the richest yet, but after this battle, we'll be the only ones left!" shouted Wario. "Now, even though my character has gone from the best idea for a villain to a joke, that doesn't mean we can't win this thing! For Stench!"
"FOR STENCH!" Wario's troops shouted, for some reason not embarrassed at their name. They quickly scrambled into the portal.
"We shall not be defeated."
"We shall drag the world into Subspace."
"The cake was the definition of coolness."
"Nothing shall stand in our way."
"To bring the world into darkness."
"You researched a powerful link."
"The world of everything will be the world of nothing."
"And we shall be its masters."
"Basketball ate photosynthesis."
"FOR THE SUBSPACE EMISSARY!"
The Subspace Emissary piled on the Battleship Halberd and went through the portal.
"Alright, men! Let's burn them to the ground!" Mack had given a large, morality boosting speech to his troops, the Melty Molten Mafia. Now, they were ready to burn everything to the ground as they marched through the portal, their inactivity about to cease.
"BLOOOP! BLOOOOOOOOOOP! BLOOP! BLOOP! BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP!" the Blooper Bombers chanted as they marched through the portal. Everyone was psyched for the finale of their lives, whether they lived or died, it would be their finest hour.
All of the armies of the world marched through their respective portals, arriving on the battlefield, ready for battle. Each one though of their motivations, which will not be listed here, as that would be even more cheap rip-offs of the previous final battle, oxymoronic as the name might be. And yet, one force was off to the side, waiting for their moment of glory. "Now? Do we do it now?"
"Patience. It will come soon."
The Finale
Part Two: Warm and Fuzzy
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/109650General Brint scanned the battlefield. "Well men, this be it. We be fightin' 'til the end. All who be with me, say 'Ay'"
"AY!" came the response. Fuzzies rushed forward, frying everything in sight with their fission fryers. Golden fuzzies were launched from fuzzbushes into the enemy ranks. Flower Fuzzies stole energy and unleashed magic attacks. The fuzzies brought complete and utter destruction. Their target? The unfortunate Sammer Guys.
Sammer Guys fell at a rapid pace from the vicious fuzzy bombardment. Few Sammer Guys were equipped for the long-range warfare that was being fought, and they just couldn't advance on the fuzzy position.
Katana Battleships flew up above the fuzzies, firing down blades. FUZZIE Bombers flew in, bombarding the enemy battleships. Yellow Sammer Guys began to fire at the Bombers, bringing them down, but not before the elimination of the Katana Battleships.
Fuzzies began to throw Cookie Bombs, causing even more damage to the Sammer Guys position. Parafuzzies went in, bombarding the troops, but the Yellow Sammer Guys took them out effectively.
Then, Piranha Plants sprouted up beneath the Sammer Guys. Biting and chomping, they were able to take out quite a few troops, but, surrounded by Sammer Guys, the force was beat down.
Then, more War Machines began to storm the enemy ranks. FuzzyJeeps dashed in and out of troops, picking them off one by one. FuzzySharks joined in, quickly darting around, wary of their weak defense, so trying to avoid getting hit. The Chomp Carriage began to run around, flattening BladeBots, and the Chompmaster Tank blew them to pieces.
In response, King Sammer sent out the Groundruler to eat up the enemy machines. It smashed right through the Jeeps and Sharks, but once it got to the Chompmaster Tank, it was severely weakened. Captain Snortez finished it off with cannonfire, putting an end to the Sammer Guys comeback. Not wanting to continue fighting this foe, the Sammer Guys began to retreat under covering fire of Green Sammer Guys.
The Fuzzies, rather than risk getting pulled into a trap, decided to focus on a new target. Their choice was the army of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Fission Fryers continued to incinerate the nearest units, while fuzzy flingers and fuzzbushes went deeper into the ranks. The remaining war machines stormed enemy ranks, and General Brint was looking confident, as Peach didn't appear to want to use her whole force, likely because she had another target.
"Oh, this isn't what I intended to do at all." Peach moaned, noticing the fuzzy advance. Without any real plans for someone attacking her, she wasn't at all happy. She moved some troops to deal with the threat, deciding to focus on her other targets. This made the fuzzies' job even easier. They shredded their way through the enemy troops and war machines, laying waste. Now, not without major casualties, but they were getting through.
"Now, now. That's no fun! It's not a party without the Green Thunder!
youtube.com/watch?v=43-bkLOCK3MTwo, large, robotic feet slammed down into the battlefield, crushing fuzzies underneath. Two hands swooped down, picking up Piranha plants and toads, intermixed throughout Peach's army, and squeezed the life out of them. Then, a robotic head, shaped like Luigi's, jumped down, hovering just above the feet, shooting lasers and missiles everywhere.
"Heh heh heh... THE GREEN THUNDER STRIKES LIKE LIGHTNING!" Brobot began to run around through all sorts of troops, Toad or Fuzzy, it mattered not, causing absolute destruction.
One Gizmo appeared in Brobot's path. The mustacherang was fired, but the Gizmo expertly dodged it. Brobot began to chase it around, firing with everything it had. "Pesky bug," said the Green Thunder. Finally, the Gizmo escaped into the crowd. "I WILL GET YOU!" Luigi vowed.
Then, the cockpit opened, and out jumped the Green Thunder himself, shooting lightning and darkness in every direction. "Hey, Random Toad, you got it handled? You just stick with Brobot. He'll keep you safe. I've got some fuzzies to suck the life out of. L-ater!" With that, the Green Thunder began to rush around the battlefield, leaving destruction in his wake.
Peach took notice of Luigi's presence, and remembered one of her goals for the battle. With lightning speed that would impress the Green Thunder himself, she rushed toward him, healing troops as she went.
"This be bad," said Brint, noticing the Green Thunder's presence. Now, even the Fotons Luigi had brought with were causing trouble. General Brint looked down at a smash ball he had brought with him. "Hm..."
Peach finally caught up with Luigi. "Luigi!"
The Green Thunder turned around, "Princess?"
"Yes, it's me. I've come to talk to you about something."
"Go on," the Green Thunder replied, inquisitive.
"Well, I really miss the brave and noble Luigi."
"Princess, I've come to this battle with a real identity crisis., and-" Luigi looked to see his Fotons being attacked by a giant, invincible, Brint.
"Mama mia! L-ater, Princess." Luigi rushed over to go aid his Fotons.
Princess Peach rolled her eyes as she quickly tried to follow.
Then, Brint shrunk back down to normal. He looked up at the Fotons, all staring down at him. "Uh, heh heh... so, what was I doing here?" Brint braced himself for the worst.
youtube.com/watch?v=gmAExzpqrxs&feature=relatedLasers rained down from the sky, eliminating hundreds of Fotons. Brint turned around, happy to see his invincible starship. "HA! Fear the wrath of the unstoppable DEATH FUZZ!"
"Help me!" Princess Peach shouted, coming under heavy fire from the Death Fuzz. Luigi turned around and rushed toward her. Grabbing her arm, he snaked through troops, rushing toward Random Toad and Brobot, knowing it was his only hope of escape. Reaching his metal brother, he and the princess flew off and away from the deadly starship.
Brint laughed. "Alright men! Let's make 'em feel warm and fuzzy!"
The Finale
Part 3: Discovery
"Hey... I wonder what would happen if I threw a Star Bit it empty space..." one Luma said to another. He picked up a star bit from the bag that just happened to be sitting next to him, and tossed it. It broke against an invisible wall.
King Kaliente saw this, and immediately demanded the bag of star bits. Rounding up fifty troops, he commanded them all to throw them all at once. They all broke at the same time, right at that invisible wall.
"Hm... Well, I suppose we should do something. EVERYBODY! FIRE AT WILL!"
youtube.com/watch?v=8igEZCR7cRMEverything began to fire all it had at the wall, whatever it was. Suddenly, a large ring with an X in the middle appeared, incredibly massive in size.
"HOLY **** ***********ING ******* ****** ************* HIPPOPOTAMUS ***** ******** **** ********* **** ********* REPUBLICAN **** *** ******** DANIEL RADCLIFFE **** **** WITH A BUCKET OF **** ********** **** ******* IN A CASTLE FAR AWAY WHERE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU ************ ***** SOUP ******** ****** WITH A BUCKET OF **** **** MICKEY MOUSE *********** ***************** AND A STICK OF DYNAMITE ******************** *** ******** MAGICAL ******* ********* ************ ALAKAZAM!" King Kaliente shouted.
Grodus was down on the ground, using his Salamun badge. He fired some water at a few unfortunate Sammer Guys, turning them into zombies. That infection would eventually spread throughout the whole army. Then, Grodus got a call from the X-Star
"Uh, dude? Sir? Sir dude, sir? We're... kinda under attack," came Lord Crump over the radio.
"HOLY **** ***********ING ******* ****** ************* HIPPOPOTAMUS ***** ******** **** ********* **** ********* REPUBLICAN **** *** ******** DANIEL RADCLIFFE **** **** WITH A BUCKET OF **** ********** **** ******* IN A CASTLE FAR AWAY WHERE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU ************ ***** SOUP ******** ****** WITH A BUCKET OF **** **** MICKEY MOUSE *********** ***************** AND A STICK OF DYNAMITE ******************** *** ******** MAGICAL ******* ********* ************ ALAKAZAM!" Sir Grodus shouted.
"Yeah. They just kinda, started attacking, so we had to fight back. I'm not sure how it happened. We need you here."
Cursing the world, Sir Grodus Shadow Warped onto the bridge of the X-Star.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/32678The Dreadmoon detached from the X-Star, heading out into the middle of the battle. It began to suck up war machines at a frightening pace, causing the Stardust Squadron to flee, while fighting the fearsome X-Star.
King Kaliente sent out the Dreadrock and Snifit Bot, having them rush toward the X-Star, firing everything they had. The X-Star fired at the Snifit Bot, hoping to bring it down. The Snifit Bot dodged laser after laser, returning fire as it dashed across the stars. The Dreadrock fired as well, laying waste to the enemy X-Star.
Grodus watched with horror as the battle raged. "This is NOT what I had planned. Crump! Xannon! Xeya! Get out there and bring them down, in the name of the X-Nauts!"
Lord Crump, Barron Xannon, and Lady Xeya rushed to their respective machines.
"VON GRAPPLE!"
"VON XERMINATOR!"
"VON XINERATE!"
"MANGUS FUSION!"
The three war machines fused together, forming the Mangus von Xraperator. This lethal weapon zoomed in and out of enemy fire, heading for the enemy Snifit Bot. The two engaged in combat, desperately trying to outwit the enemy ship. Neither one seemed willing to give.
King Kaliente tried to use his remaining machines to take down the X-Star, but it all seemed in vain. The enemy was putting up quite a fight. Suddenly, he got an idea.
"This is King Kaliente to Snifit Bot. Take out that Black Hole thing. Whatever it is, it's greatly hindering my ability to take out that X-thing."
"This is King Kaliente to DreadRock. Take out that Black Hole thing. Whatever it is, it's greatly hindering my ability to take out that X-thing."
The two starships instantly switched their focus to the Dreadmoon, trying their hardest to damage it. It had already swallowed plenty of machines, so the Snifit Bot and DreadRock were keeping their distance. The Snifit Bot, still distracted by the Mangus con Xraperator, was unable to effectively damage the Dreadmoon. Grodus, from on board the X-Star, felt he had dodged a major bullet. King Kaliente had far from given up, but knew he was losing.
youtube.com/watch?v=-ZIGtP39k6AA few lasers appeared and hit the Dreadmoon. Grodus and King Kaliente simultaneously turned to see what it was. It was a machine unlike any they'd seem before.
The Death Fuzz
"HOLY **** ***********ING ******* ****** ************* HIPPOPOTAMUS ***** ******** **** ********* **** ********* REPUBLICAN **** *** ******** DANIEL RADCLIFFE **** **** WITH A BUCKET OF **** ********** **** ******* IN A CASTLE FAR AWAY WHERE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU ************ ***** SOUP ******** ****** WITH A BUCKET OF **** **** MICKEY MOUSE *********** ***************** AND A STICK OF DYNAMITE ******************** *** ******** MAGICAL ******* ********* ************ ALAKAZAM!" the two generals shouted at the same time.
The Death Fuzz fired lasers at all of the spacecraft in sight, as if with no real motive. The two armies tried to counter it, with a decent degree of success, but it was hard as they still needed to fight each other. The entire area was enveloped in chaos.
General Brint had been having a good fight on the ground, until he noticed Grodus attacking the Sammer Guys, turning them into zombies on the other side of the battlefield. While not really concerned, he knew that it meant the X-Nauts were here, and was determined to seek them out. Faring well on the ground, he decided to let the Death Fuzz attempt to neutralize the threat.
Grodus and King Kaliente both knew that the new player was going to serve as an annoyance, and were mildly annoyed about it. King Kalinte decided to seize the opportunity, luring the Death Fuzz to attack the Dreadmoon, while he did so himself. With the combined efforts of all the machines, the Dreadmoon was eliminated.
"HOLY **** ***********ING ******* ****** ************* HIPPOPOTAMUS ***** ******** **** ********* **** ********* REPUBLICAN **** *** ******** DANIEL RADCLIFFE **** **** WITH A BUCKET OF **** ********** **** ******* IN A CASTLE FAR AWAY WHERE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU ************ ***** SOUP ******** ****** WITH A BUCKET OF **** **** MICKEY MOUSE *********** ***************** AND A STICK OF DYNAMITE ******************** *** ******** MAGICAL ******* ********* ************ ALAKAZAM!" Sir Grodus shouted.
Fighting with newfound vigor, the Stardust Squadron was able to advance on the X-Star. Grodus continued to fight back with all he had, but the Dreadmoon had been crucial to his strategy. Being who he was, he was ready to tackle this new challenge. After all, he had the perfect brain. No one could ever beat him.
The Finale
Part 3: Smog
Luigi and Peach flew far away from the Rogue Fuzzies, when Luigi noticed something. All the troops were backed up to a large circle- and none of them were going in. Confused, Luigi fired a few missiles at the circle, watching them all explode against an invisible barrier. He then commanded Brobot to rip the barrier to shreds, shooting lasers, missiles, bombs, robot parts, everything he'd put into Brobot, probably a thousand days' worth of labor, all attacking that barrier. And when it collapsed, Peach, from inside Brobot, smiled. She had found the 64.
youtube.com/watch?v=eG7eZ_CqgbI&feature=relatedLuigi let the Princess out, as she commanded her troops to move in and attack the 64. The 64 responded by unleashing everything they had, melee units were up front, backed by ranged units. Aerial units followed up behind, and grenaders lobbed explosives from the back. This all-out melee saw equal casualties for Peach and Sharptooth, but the mafia boss was not worried. He had a plan.
Sharptooth had secretly been hiding out away from the battle, waiting for his barrier to break. Once it did, he used darkness blast to block out the sky. Smog filled the air, obstructing vision everywhere.
Luigi chased after the Gizmo, having finally found it, that evaded him while he had been fighting the Rogue Fuzzies. He chased it everywhere, but it was to no avail. The smog came, and that was that. He could not find the Gizmo.
The Paragoombas that were with Sharptooth, Fat Goomy, and Tubba Blubbachine all merged together, forming one carrier. Sharptooth and his two comrades stepped onto the carrier. It lifted them up into the smog.
Peach advanced with a vengeance on her foes. She pushed them farther and farther back, stopping at nothing to get her revenge. This would be victory.
Don Pianta, Professor Frankly, and Headbonk stood in the middle of the circle, turning money into troops with the Black Jewel, hoping to push off the enemy ranks.
"I think we're done for," Professor Frankly said.
"Dat's what I'm tinking too," the Pianta replied.
"What? Guys, are you hearing yourselves? What about Sharptooth? The one who always knows what to do! The one who always has a plan! The one that already is carrying out a plan for this situation! We can't just give in. I'd follow him to oblivion and beyond," Headbonk paused. "We have to do this. For Sharptooth."
Don and Frankly nodded. The three turned outward, filled with no regret for what they were about to do. "FOR SHARPTOOTH!" they bellowed, charging into battle, with no fear of what was to come.
Sharptooth went higher and higher into the smog. With the Sand Container in hand, he was ready to win the battle. Just then, a laser zoomed up and through some of the paragoombas. The carrier reformed, and Sharptooth looked around for the person who fired. A large robot head flew up into the clouds, hovering right next to the carrier.
"Heyyyyyy, Sharptooth! What's up, pal? The Green Thunder is here, ready to strike you like lightning!"
Sharptooth recognized the voice instantly. "You! How did you find me?"
"Sheer anger," Luigi replied. "You've forced me to war against a kingdom I was once loyal too. You've clouded the skies, preventing me from killing a Gizmo whose survival haunts me. You know what else? YOU TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS!!!!!!
Sharptooth's eyes shrunk back in fear at the anger his enemy felt. He turned to Tubba, but it was too late. He was being sucked out of his dimension.
Sharptooth looked around in fear. He was in a green room, the letter L filling the walls. He looked down, only to find that he was void of all equipment, save his Tommy Gun. That gun was going to be the only thing between him and death, and he knew it. Luigi stood before him, electricity filling both his hands.
"Boo."
youtube.com/watch?v=KyFr-iyJFvkSharptooth began firing his Tommy Gun at Luigi who dodged with expert flips and jumps. Luigi Super Jumped to the ceiling of the room, teleported down, and blasted Sharptooth with a bolt of electricity from behind. Sharptooth was knocked to the side, but he rolled onto his feet and began shooting again.
Luigi fired starbursts of energy from a distance, not wanting to go near the trigger-happy Goomba. Lugi pulled out his Mini-Luigi's letting them all go of as he teleported out of the dimension. Sharptooth desperately tried to run from the screaming toys, but to no avail. Lightning was cast down from all sides, sending the Goomba flying all over the room. Luigi teleported back in, shooting lightning every which way. Sharptooth stood up and began shooting again, barely clinging onto life. Luigi took a shroom shake, gulped it down, and threw it at Sharptooth. The shake sent the gun flying out of his hands. Sharptooth dived to recover his weapon, but Luigi just teleported to it and zapped it with a starburst, sending the gun to oblivion. Sharptooth looked up in anger. "Did you jus' destroy mah gun?"
Luigi took a smug grin upon his face. "Yup. L-ater, Sharptooth."
Sharptooth charged at Luigi in a maddened rage. Luigi jumped over him, turned around, and picked him up. He filled his hands with electricity, which began to conduct through Sharptooth, ending the Goomba's game. Luigi dug the goomba's eyes out, making two holes, and strapped the goomba to his face, like a mask. Luigi bellowed at the top of his lungs, "THE GREEN THUNDER STRIKES LIKE LIGHTNING!"
Luigi teleported out of Dimension L, and landed on the paragoombas, with Tubba Blubbachine staring him down.
"You. You killed my boss, and now have the audacity to disgrace his name by wearing him around your face like a trophy? You: must die." Tubba Blubbachine roared a battle cry as he charged at Luigi.
"What? No. I've got a lot to do right now, tubby. L-ater!" Luigi teleported back into Brobot, ready find Peach.
Tubba Blubbachine looked at the carrier, and saw the Sand Container. He picked it up, and swore to finish what Sharptooth started. He was going to win. For Sharptooth.
The Finale
Part 4: The Imperial March
www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8Dgu--CzGw"guys, we have one goal today: to be awesome. and win, but that's just a product of our totally awesome magnitude of coolness."
The iron phoenix navigated through the skies above the battlefield. Some would deem the fowl ones’ plan primitive and childish. But, in reality, they were so complex that none could comprehend them. Yeah, they’re that good. The brilliant mastermind behind the greatest war strategy ever written? duck.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ4H4cozBoY“hey, wait a sec. how did we get iron to fly? that would take some serious lift.”
Suddenly, the iron phoenix began to fall from the sky.
“what??? no! I didn’t mean that! ugh, let’s see here...” duck began to wave his spear rapidly.
The iron phoenix flew back up to its cruising altitude. duck breathed a sigh of relief. What duck didn’t see was the giant window that had appeared in front of him.
The iron phoenix plowed right through the window, sending shards of glass everywhere. Fortunately, the iron plated iron walls of the iron phoenix protected the fowl ones from, y’know, getting game overs on their last quarter, but turbulence was still felt.
“what was that?” duck fumed.
“eet vas too ‘ard to zee,” dr.einstork explained.
“bet it was a window,” duck mumbled.
Down below, glass shards sliced through the forces of one faction, one with an interesting name, likely because it didn’t need a username: Stench.
“WAH! They’re killing us! To the Gold Mine!”
“Wario, calm down. Do you see who that is?”
“What are you talking about, Waluigi?”
“That’s gotta be the BXN!”
“How do you know?”
“How many airships do you see?”
“Uh... 1.”
“Exactly! It’s gotta be the BXN, ‘cause if that’s not, what is?”
“iunno”
“k. Then it’s settled. We chase after it.”
“Hey, I’m the leader of this bandit group! You shouldn’t even exist!”
“Oh, now we open that box again!”
“At least I’ve been in a canon game before!”
“Blah Blah Blah!”
A huge glass shard landed right between the two bickering heroes, reminding them of what they had to do. They commanded their troops to chase after the iron phoenix Battleship X-Naut.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr6UUhHTHoM&feature=related“Now what?” Wario inquired.
“What do you think, Mr. Leader,” Waluigi returned.
“Don’t start with me.”
“Fine. We’re supposed to wait until the BXN gets occupied with another army. That’s what the plans say.”
“I knew that. Who do you think wrote the plans?”
“I don’t think he needs a username.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I dunno.”
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBrzRHcDW4U&feature=relatedJust then, a massive airship flew across the horizon. It had a mysterious mask on the bow, and was littered with all sorts of turrets. It didn’t even look like it was from a Mario game. But there it was, closing in on the iron phoenix BXN.
“Nice going, Waluigi. Now which one’s the BXN?” Wario asked.
“For all we know, neither, since there might be more hiding. Whatever, as long as it’s a huge airship, we can go along with the same plan. Let’s stick with our initial target.”
“Well, what should we call it? The BXN?”
“It’s made of iron, and looks like the phoenix. I’ve got it! We’ll call it the iron phoenix.”
“o i c wat u did thar.”
The masked ship, the Battleship Halberd for you more learned people, began to fire at the iron phoenix. Nacho Cheese Battleships appeared, also firing all they had at the iron phoenix.
Screams were heard. Shiny Bytans darted onto the battlefield, replicating rapidly. Wario and Waluigi took this as a cue to mount up the Trowlon and get onto the iron phoenix. It was probably wise, as the follow up waves by the Subspace Emissary would be devastating.
Once above the iron phoenix, Stench began to pummel the roof with everything they had. Wario turned his coins into a jackhammer, and began drilling through the iron. It was tough, but they eventually drilled through, and slipped into the iron phoenix undetected, for however short a time.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/27137Suddenly, a loud screech filled the battlefield, busting open troop’s ears and stunning enemies with it’s unsafe decibel level and unnaturally high frequency (which, somehow, could still be heard, despite being ultrasonic). The iron phoenix began a dive, attempting to hit the Battleship Halberd. The Halberd barely dodged the attack, and countered with an array of cannonballs. The two battleships climbed higher and higher, engaged in an epic battle. IF YOU ARE A PLATINUM COIN READER, PLEASE INSERT YOUR MUSHROOM TOKEN INTO THE SLOT ON YOUR FIREFLOWER COMPUTER FOR THE INCREDIBLE DETAILS CONCERNING THIS EPIC DUEL OF TWO AIRSHIPS AS THE ENTER THE EXOSPHERE. IF YOU ARE NOT A PLATINUM COIN READER, THEN PLEASE CONTINUE READING THE UPDATE.
Upon reaching the exosphere, the two began to spin around in a non-existent cyclone, firing all their weapons at the enemy ship. A laser blasted between the two of them. duck and the Ancient Overlord simultaneously looked to see the Death Fuzz firing at them. Taking a look around, they also saw the X-Star, and the giant transport to ferry entire army to final battle, accompanied by the Snifit Bot and Dreadrock.
“oh. well, that’s not awesome,” duck observed. He spun his spear around, hoping to do something to the enemy. Suddenly, the whole area began to phase out. When it phased back in, duck saw that the X-Star had fused with the Death Fuzz, creating an X-Fuzz that was essentially the X-Star, but fuzzy.
“ha!” duck laughed. He had finally done something right. Now, the enemy was down several days of work, having only half of what was once there. Unfortunately, he forgot to account for the leftover words.
In the distance, a dangerous shape loomed. duck turned to kazooie. “hey, I thought the moon was on the other side of the planet this time of month! isn’t tonight a new moon?”
“that’s no moon. that’s a space station.”
“it’s too big to be a space station.”
It was. But that didn’t stop it. It was:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bzWSJG93P8&feature=relatedTHE DEATH STAR!
“...crap.”
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duck called his troops together. "alright men, we've been approached by a not awesome enemy. there's only one way to beat him..."
"science!" yelled dr.einstork.
"no," said duck. "we blow them up. duh."
The iron phoenix fired at the Battleship Halberd, which performed a barrel roll to avoid getting hit. The Halberd returned with a volley of ray beams. The iron phoenix flew up, just avoiding the photons of death. duck demanded more firepower, and the Battleship Halberd was kept dodging. Using its robot harm, the Halberd lashed out at the iron phoenix, which expertly dodged.
Deep within the iron phoenix, Stench began to seek out the control room.
"It's near the bow!" yelled Waluigi.
"The stern!" Wario insisted.
"Why would it be there?" Waluigi asked.
"Duh! Who would expect it? Only an idiot! That's why it would be there: it's the least unlikely place." Wario laughed.
Waluigi pondered this for a moment. "You might be right, Wario. Let's go!" The two brothers led the army toward the stern of the ship, eager to carry out their plans.
duck looked outside the window at the bow of the iron phoenix, from within the control room. Looking down at his spear, he smiled.
Waluigi reached the stern first, disappointed at the lack of a control room. He turned around, and began to run the other way. He passed his brother on the way to the bow. Wario, who was pointing, slowly turned around and attempted to run the other direction.
duck waved his spear. Suddenly, the iron phoenix and Battleship Halberd went into Omega Drive, sending them to a speed rivaling that of light. The two ships became increasingly hard to control. Doomed for collision, duck waved his spear in the air, yelling at the top of his lungs, "STOP!"
Everything did. The ships, the passengers, time itself, all came to a stop. Except for duck. He walked around for a bit, looking at coffee in mid-spill, lasers in mid-fire, and writers in mid-sentence. He waked up to dr.einstork, and began to move his mouth while imitating his voice.
"I'm dr.einstork. I like science. vat are you doing? making fun of me? I'm going to use science on you!"
duck laughed, and then walked back to his original position. He waved his spear, and the battle returned to normal. duck and the Ancient Overlord fired all their weapons, the battle increasing in intensity. Then, they reached the exosphere.
ATTENTION!
THIS CONCLUDES THE PLATINUM READING SECTION
YOU WILL NOW BE RETURNED TO SUPER SMASH BROS. BRAWL
The Finale
Part 5: New life; New death
www.ocremix.org/remix/OCR01130/The Melty Molten Mafia and the Blooper Bombers were locked in combat. The Bombers doused enemy flames with their ink, and the Mafia incinerated enemy troops with flame. Neither side seemed willing to give. But they kept fighting.
Harder and harder both sides fought, wearing themselves down, then picking themselves up again. Mack let out a mighty roar, and charged into the battle.
Big Blooper appeared on the scene, madly waving his tentacles. The two engaged in combat. Mack valiantly swung at the beast, who just batted him back with his tentacles. Mack got up again and again, fighting always harder. Never giving up, Mack continued to fight off the giant beast, desperately hoping to slay him. But, alas, the blooper slayer was slain.
The Melty Molten Mafia was demoralized from the loss, but continued to fight on, stronger, braver. The Bloopers didn't give in, fighting with all they had. It seemed no one could win the fight.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/143118A single Gizmo walked through the area, not really sure what was happening. He walked past battling troops, watching casualties fall on his right and his left, and yet oblivious to everything that was going on around him. He just kept walking. Walking and walking. It didn't matter what happened. He was just walking.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/39464Brobot crashed down behind the Gizmo. He fired everything he had, causing destruction everywhere. He heard a battle cry from behind. He turned around to see the one thing he hoped he wouldn't see:
Tubba Blubbachine.
The maddened Clubba charged at him, hammer drawn. Luigi jumped out of Brobot, not wanting his metal brother to get scratched during the fight. Tubba advanced on his position. Luigi smiled. He pulled a little orb out of his pocket. It was a Smash Ball. He smashed it open, and began to glow, crackling with electricity.
Tubba continued to run, showing no fear. Luigi thrust up to the air, "THE GREEN THUNDER STRIKES LIKE LIGHTNING!"
A massive burst of lightning shot out of Luigi's fists. They incinerated everything within a few meters of the actual lightning, giving burns to everything with a few meters of that, and nothing actually hit by the electricity was even worth mentioning. Tubba continued to advance, not deterred. The lightning reflected off of him, killing all troops with a 30 meter radius of him. Yet, Tubba was unscathed.
Luigi's eyes grew as wide as Goombas when he saw this. He ripped off the Sharptooth mask and ran. Fast.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dssKObAIJLM&feature=relatedTubba reached the read Goomba's body. He took the Goomba and ran to the woods, making sure no one followed behind. Once he arrived, he took his heart out of a compartment in his foot. He drained out all of the blood. He put his heart in Sharptooth's body, and took his general's heart into his chest. Sharptooth was reborn.
Sharptooth looked up at Tubba Blubbachine. "You...saved me," Sharptooth said. "Now, we've gots us some business to take care of," Sharptooth said, pulling out his Tommy Gun.
The group flew back up into the sky. Sharptooth pulled out his Sand Container. "Now- it's show-time."
Meanwhile, The Subspace Emissary was getting busy. They were ripping apart enemy troops with ease. Their Big Fire Boom Metal Primid took care of large swaths of enemy forces, and the rest of their troops left nothing but carnage in their wake. The Sammer Guys completely fell- too weakened from the Rogue Fuzzies and the zombie spell to come back from this threat. The Blooper Bombers and Melty Molten Mafia also fell under the Subspace Emissary. What was left of the 64 on the ground fell to the ultimate might of the Emissary too, but not without a great fight. Then, Count Bleckian came in to fight back.
"BLEH HEH HEH! BLECKIAN!" Using all of his dark magic, Count Bleckian eliminated the remaining ground forces. Then he turned around to see Peach and the Rogue Fuzzies as the last threat.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/32207Unleashing everything he had, Count Bleckian wreaked absolute destruction on the two opposing armies. Brint fought back with everything he had, but his Fission Fryers were out of juice. Never willing to give, Brint continued to give everything he had, never willing to surrender. Nothing would cause him to give in. Not even death.
Peach wasn't willing to give in either. The powers of darkness would never overwhelm the powers of light. Never. She fought with everything she had, confident that she would succeed.
Fuzzipede rushed into battle, crushing everything underneath his massive strength. Peach went in too, healing all her troops. Count Bleckian was not deterred, but the onslaught was too much. It seemed as if his army was done for. Peach looked back at her declining numbers and felt the same. General Brint was unhappy with his low troop count, but in no way deterred.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/29728"EEYAH HA HA HA HA! Let's go guys! It's time!" The Beanbean Bandits hopped out of Cackletta's secret dimension, whatever it was called. They all started to rip apart the enemy troops, laying waste to the thinning numbers. Peach saw them and knew what she had to do. She rushed toward the five, without any regret for what she was about to do.
Luigi saw the Beanbean Bandits from his high perch in Brobot, and didn't think much of it. Then, he saw Peach headed straight for them. Then he thought something of it.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He yelled, diving toward the princess. He jumped out of Brobot just above the princess, landing in front of her, striking a defensive pose. Brobot continued to dash toward the bandits.
The metal brother took Popple and Queen Bean away, fighting them both by himself. Luigi and Peach were then faced with just Cackletta, Fawful, and Peasley.
Peach instantly used her Mute attack, binding Cackletta from using her magical abilities. Furious, Cackletta commanded Fawful and Peasley to go get them. They obeyed, but the Green Thunder proceeded to kick them around. Peasley was sent spiraling to the ground, leaving just Luigi and Fawful. Peach ran over to fight Cackletta, who had used the Beanstar to not only cure the mute attack, but make herself immune to it.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/30480Cackletta and Peach squared off, ready for the duel of their lives. Peach instantly jumped up, using her pysch bomb to bombard Cackletta with explosions. Cackletta countered with lightning blasts, sending Peach to the ground. Peach hopped up, and activated her light aura. Cackletta continued attacking, but her magical attacks could hardly harm the princess. Cackletta switched to her Cacklio form, taking on the body of the Mushroom Superstar. She jumped all around the arena, nailing the princess several times. Peach looked over at Luigi, and used her sneaky parasol, instantly taking on the form of the Green Thunder. She blasted Cacklio off with her own lightning attack. She then fired beams of dark energy at the witch, blasting her back into the ground. Cacklio got up, smiling. This would be a challenge.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/82572Luigi and Fawful battled heartily, neither one willing to surrender. Luigi blasted off Fawful's headgear with a Thunderhand attack- the ship had long since been dealt with by the Green Thunder. The two continued fighting, Luigi beating Fawful into the dust.
"Oh yes, you have defeatings of Fawful," Fawful explained. Luigi laughed. Fawful then hopped up, whipped out his FuryZAP, and fired at the Green Thunder, stunning him.
"In the last moments of the finale of the finale when relief leads to neglience that begets rashness... That is when the comeback that faltered comes back and beats your pathetic comeback that I scoff at!" Fawful laughed.
Then, out of nowhere, Prince Peasley slashed Fawful away. "HA! In the finale of the finale, when negligence begets rashness: the comeback is come back upon! Hahaha!" Peasley said, flipping his hair.
Luigi looked up at then man who saved him. "Prince Peasley? But...how?"
"Hahaha!" Peasley laughed, flipping his hair again. "No one could ever control my mind. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to rebel against Cackletta. Now, shall we continue?"
Luigi nodded.
The battle appeared over, but there was still much more to come. More than anyone ever dreamed of.
The Finale
Part 6: Awesome
"wait a sec," duck thought out loud. "the iron phoenix flies itself! Where are we then?"
"dat eez simple," dr.einstork explained. "you built a chamber vith your spvear for us to ride in vhen you decided dat dis vould be zee 'awesomest place to be in zee whole battle.'"
"oh, yeah. but there's still no control panel, so no one can take control. sweet," duck laughed. "now that that is addressed, let's get back to the battle."
marioisawesome.ytmnd.com/duck waved his spear around, teleporting 3 people to the scene: King Kaliente, Sir Grodus, and the Ancient Overlord.
"alright guys," duck explained. "that giant death star could easily slaughter all of us. we've got to work together to sabotage it."
Sir Grodus spoke up. "Yeah, that's great and all, but I've got my own evil plans to worry about."
"shut up," duck replied. "that death star will kill us all if we don't work together."
"That's great. I'm really happy for you," Sir Grodus returned. "We're all villains. If you honestly think we're gonna work together to beat some loser in a big metal sphere, you've got to be kidding me."
King Kaliente nodded. The Ancient Minister looked at Grodus and Kaliente, and hovered to duck. Standing next to the dark craw, he nodded.
Sir Grodus continued. "Fine, well, it looks like he's going with you, but I'm out."
"Me too," Kaliente agreed.
Just then, a large laser beam erupted from the Death Star, instantly annihilating the DreadRock.
"I'm in," said King Kaliente.
Grodus was furious. "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but... fine. I guess I'm in too."
duck smiled. He waved his spear, giving each General a light saber.
"Uh, actually, I think I'll have Cosmic Mario go with you guys," Kaliente said. duck sighed and warped Cosmic Mario into the room. Kaliente gave Cosmic Mario the light saber, and then was warped out of the room.
duck warped the group into four X-Wing fighters that appeared out of nowhere. "let's rock," he said.
The group instantly began moving toward the Death Star. The Ancient Overlord was being followed by an enemy fighter, but duck blew it up. A powerful laser was fired at Cosmic Mario, who barrel rolled to avoid it. The laser continued toward Sir Grodus, who barely dove out of the way in time.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/104608duck smiled as he got closer to the Death Star. "guys, let's try to get into that loading bay. see it? good."
The four instantly rushed at it. Homing missiles were fired at the four. They instantly rushed toward each other, barely avoided collision, and watched the missiles explode on contact.
"awesome."
They eventually landed in the loading bay. They all hopped out of their fighters, sabers drawn.
"alright. let's split up. grodus, you go find the main control room. See if you can hack in and take control of it. cosmic dude, try to create a big distraction and get everyone to come find you. ancient overlord, you try to shut down as many offensive systems as you can. preferably the main cannon."
"Where are you going?" Grodus asked.
"I'm going after vader," duck replied.
The four went their separate ways. Grodus ran toward the middle of the station, figuring that is where the control room would be. He met some storm troopers on the way, and sliced them open with his light saber.
One snuck out from behind and began firing. Grodus wheeled around and blocked with his light saber. The beams reflected off and vaporized the clone.
Grodus continued advancing toward the middle, rolling under storm troopers as they lunged at him, jumping over explosions that obstructed his path, and killing anyone who dared to oppose him. In taking the control room, he could eliminate all of his foes. What an idiot duck was for giving him the best assignment. "GAAAAAACK ACK ACK ACK!"
Cosmic Mario rushed toward the center, figuring it was the best place to cause a distraction. He sliced storm troopers in half, paying no mind to any sort of caution. He was trying to create a distraction, after all.
"HYAAAAAAAH!" he yelled as he kicked a storm trooper in the chest before slicing off the head. As he got closer, he saw the perfect place to create a distraction. "Nuclear Generator," the sign read.
The Ancient Overlord searched all over for the main cannon. He sliced off the heads of each and every storm trooper he saw. He rushed toward the center, figuring that was where the main cannon would be based. He continued, lasers from every direction, sending them bouncing back toward their blasters with his saber, and causing absolute destruction. Not watching where he was going, he fell into a hole he had created in the floor. He landed on the ground, and destroyed the storm troopers that were surrounding him.
duck raced toward the center of the Death Star, figuring that was where Vader would be located. He slashed enemy storm troopers in half, not worried in the slightest. He thought about his goals, why he was here. It soon became obvious. He was awesome. The world needed to be awesome. He was there to make the world awesome. And there was but one way to do that. By being awesome. He broke down a door, finding himself in a large, empty room, with no floor other than a narrow bridge and a large circular area in the middle.
"awesome."
Sir Grodus, Cosmic Mario, and the Ancient Overlord all turned around to see duck, staring at them.
"you guys really don't understand the entire concept of 'spilt up,' do ya?"
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/31699A solitary figure in an awesome cape walked into the light. He stood on the far side of the circular arena in the center. The four approached him, without any doubts or regrets about what they were about to do.
"I see the force is strong in you. It is a shame you four do not know the dark side of the force. Perhaps I should give you an offer. Join me, and you shall not be harmed. Know the dark side of the force!"
"sure," said duck, walking up to Vader.
"DUCK!" the other three yelled, completely confused.
"You're the one who convinced us to fight him! And now you'll just join him like that?" Grodus explained.
"that's when I though he was going to kill me. I'll totally join his side!" duck explained.
"Excellent," Darth Vader responded. "Now, you will be my apprentice."
"apprentice!? yeah right, loser. that's not awesome," duck complained, kicking Vader in the shin.
"Fine, so you want to defy me. I would not deem that wise."
duck jumped up, saber drawn, and prepared to slash at Vader. Vader quickly countered with his saber, pushing duck off. Grodus leapt up, rolled across the ground, and jumped up, hoping to stab Vader in the chest. Vader jumped up into the air, did a triple flip and used the force to make the floor under Grodus collapse. Grodus hopped up and latched onto the side. Darth rushed over to Grodus and prepared to finish him. Cosmic Mario jumped up behind him. Darth wheeled around and swung his saber; Cosmic Mario barely had time to put up his own to defend. Grodus jumped back onto the stage, just in time to have his head cut off by Darth's saber.
The Ancient Overlord jumped into the fray, slashing at Darth Vader. Darth used his saber to push the Ancient Overlord's to the side, and he then proceeded to force choke him. duck slashed at Darth's feet, but the Sith jumped just in time to avoid it. Cosmic Mario put Grodus's head back onto his body, allowing the hero to once again function. The four backed Vader into a corner, but he just made the ceiling collapse, giving the four barely enough time to dodge.
The four instantly lunged at Vader. He reflected them all off his saber, and the four were sent tumbling over the side.
A large spaceship flew up and caught the heroes. duck looked up and found the pilot: King Kaliente. He dropped the four off on top of the arena. Darth looked at them and began to go all out with all of his strength. The four jumped up and dodged all of his slashes. Cosmic Mario kicked the Sith into the air. duck, the Ancient Minister, and Sir Grodus all jumped up, grabbed Vader, and threw him over the edge.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Vader shouted as he landed inside the reactor, where he was completely vaporized.
duck smiled. "awesome."
The Finale
Part 7: Revenge of the Clown
ocrmirror.org/Final_Fantasy_6_Can....ka_OC_ReMix.mp3It looked as if things were coming to a close. The few armies that remained were down to their last men. The Green Thunder was on the verge of extinction. Peach and Cackletta were locked in a duel that seemed eternal, their troops dwindling in both number and strength. General Brint had few troops remaining, and Fuzzipede was losing his fury, unlike the beanish boy with the weird hat who had finally run back to the battle scene. In space, many armies were still alive- the Subspace Emissary, the Secret Society of the X-Nauts, the fowl ones, and the Stardust Squadron, but they too had fatigue. Sharptooth, feeling reborn, was not as tired as the others, nor were his surviving troops, but the small numbers he possessed did little to help his position. It was the perfect time to strike.
"Life, Liberty, Property- wait, no, can I start over? Is there a less valuable expenditure of energy than life itself? Such pitiful creatures, all of you...Your purpose for living is simply to die and be returned to the nothingness from whence you came... Allow me... to help you in fulfilling your purpose in life!"
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/89276Atop his mountain vista, one man stared down the armies of the world. Death...Destruction...This was his most cherished possession! And now... he would show the entire world the angst he'd been keeping since the last time this battle had taken place. Throughout the entire lifetime of this universe, he had been watching...waiting...for his chance to take revenge. This was it!
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/95861"YAR!" He jumped onto the battlefield, his hair on fire. He slammed his fist into the ground, sending a shockwave that sent troops flying. He rose, a terrible smile covering his face. "UWEE HEE HEE HEE!"
"YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND THE NATURE OF THIS ATTACK!"
"...That doesn't do anything." A trophy of the one who had shouted out his attack fell from the sky. "Makuta! That doesn't do ANYTHING! You and Maka really have much to learn."
He paused for dramatic effect. "ALLOW ME TO TEACH YOU!" His flaming hair had two tentacles branch off as it rapidly expanded into the air. It ripped open, revealing a huge, hideous mouth. The monster began scooping up troops and throwing them into the mouth of the monster.
"I grow weary of such boring deaths. I need something much more stimulating." A flash of green whipped across his face.
"Heh heh heh... Well, what have we here? Back for more, eh, vidguysteve? Just remember...THE GREEN THUNDER STRIKES LIKE LIGHTNING!"
"ROFL!" vidguysteve rolled on the floor laughing. "You couldn't beat me if you tried."
"We'll see about that!" Luigi lunged at Vidguysteve, who began to choke the air. Luigi landed on his knees, clawing at his throat. "No...d-don't..."
"You're not going anywhere, except oblivion." Vidguysteve opened a dimensional portal with his other hand and threw Luigi through it. "I'll be sure to come and torture you later. Right now, I've got some more business to take care of.
Queen Bean and Popple had effectively taken care of Random Toad and Brobot, and were just about to finish them, when vidguysteve arrived. He ripped Random Toad out of the cockpit and threw Random Toad into the portal as well. The portal sealed shut and vidguysteve turned his head to Popple and Queen Bean.
"Ha! You gonna beat us, punk? That's a laugh, see? Rookie and I aren't so easily beaten, I'll tell ya that, see?" Popple and the Queen of Beans took fighting stances.
"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. You guys are under my control, ain't that right? Not that it matters, I'll kill you all, but I guess I'll save you for later. Now..." vidguysteve looked over the Brobot. "I gots me a fightin' machine!"
Vidguysteve put his hand on the machine, and it was instantly morphed into a likeness of his head. Vidguysteve hopped inside and took a look at the controls. "Now, what's the button for... destruction?"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwIzbxFWcv8&feature=related"Perfect! Now, let us begin!" Vidguysteve began shooting lasers at nearby troops, frying them on the spot. Peach's troops, who had been busying themselves with both Cackletta and Brint to worry about, were hit again and again. Harder! Harder! The Fuzzies were not left out of the game, being fried themselves. Visguysteve hovered everywhere, not allowing a single soldier to survive his onslaught. And then, he saw it. A solitary Gizmo, right in front of him. Vidguy fired, again and again, unable to scratch the mechanical man. Vidguy heard something hit his, er, Vidbot, and turned around to see what it was.
"Hey! You're the guy who stole my parasol! That wasn't nice!"
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/92357Vidguysteve laughed. "UWEE HEE HEE! That's right, princess. Glad we got to have this little reunion. You die next."
"Don't think so." Peach jumped up into the air, slamming herself into Vidbot. The robot was knocked back. Vidguy hit the accelerator, slamming back into Peach. Peach was knocked back into Cackletta.
"I was wondering where you'd gone! It seems your friend has abandoned you, and my ally just arrived! EEYAH HA HA HA HA!"
"ARGH! YEH CAN'T BE TOUCHIN' THIS!" A blur of light flew toward Cackletta, followed by a fury of hammer smashes. The witch was knocked back into the fray, only for Popple and Rookie to arrive.
Peach looked over at Fuzzipede. "So, I guess we're on the same side now."
"Aye." The two worked hard to keep their adversaries at bay. They were outnumbered, that much was clear.
"Hey, where are our troops, anyway?"
"YAR!" Fuzzies and Toads spilled over the hills, charging at the enemy heroes and villain. Cackletta fended them off with fire, Fawful used his headgear to the best of his ability, Queen Bean crushed troops with her enhanced size, Popple threw anything he could find out of his bag. Peasley...wait, where was Peasley? Hadn't he been fighting alongside Peach?
"O Great Cackletta! I've uncovered vital secrets about the enemy ranks! Using these tactics, we can defeat them!"
"Excellent, Peasley. Now, you know what to do."
"Yes, my lady."
Cackletta called down a massive blast of lightning from the sky, hitting Peasley's rapier. The blade charged with electricity, Peasley swung it around, frying dozens of enemy troops.
Queen Bean grabbed Popple and threw him into her bag. She hopped in herself, and began to hop all around the area, crushing troops underfoot.
Cackletta summoned a swarm of poisonous bats, which Fawful sucked up into his Headgear. He then spit out one, giant, poisonous bat to ravage the battlefield.
www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/113442Sharptooth looked down on the battlefield with mixed emotions. The battle was far from boring, but he had yet to leave his mark, all because of one plumber on whom he wouldn't get his revenge. And yet, victory would make it all worth it. Victory. Victory. King of the universe. That is what he was going to become. All he had to do was unscrew the jar. So he did.
KABLAM! Sand erupted from the jar, covering the battlefield in a blanket of tiny rocks. Troops were absolutely covered, sand got into their eyes, their noses, their mouths, their ears, their very souls. Sand...sand...sand. The entire battlefield was covered in it.
"Tubba... you know what to do." The Clubba nodded as he leaped off the paragoomba raft and down onto the sand below. He ripped a fuzzy off the ground and shoved it into his mouth.
"ALL HAIL SHARPTOOTH! AND THE INVINCIBLE TUBBA BLUBBACHINE THE GOD!"
Part 7: 2008: A Space Oddity
"wait a sec," duck thought out loud. "the iron phoenix flies itself! where are we then?"
"dat eez simple," dr.einstork explained. "you built a chamber vith your spvear for us to ride in vhen you decided dat dis vould be zee 'awesomest place to be in zee whole battle.'"
"oh, yeah. but there's still no control panel, so no one can take control. sweet," duck laughed. "now there’s only one thing left to do…” duck began as he started to wildly